Mean Girl to the Rescue!

How'm I gonna save the world when the world ain't ready?

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

There was a lit-tle Spanish flea ...

You know what sucks? Having a cat who escapes for a day and then returns home with fleas. What sucks more is not realizing there is a sizable flea population until it's kind of serious and you, the humans, are being bitten. The suckiest thing is when the treatment you buy for the cats (all of them, because of course if one has them, they all do) doesn't work even a little bit (damn you, Hartz!), and then the flea foggers you set off don't work (double damn you!), and then even Frontline doesn't kill ALL of the fleas, and when you come back from your weekend visiting your in-laws at the shore so you don't breathe in toxic fumes, your bedroom is so overrun with fleas that you have to go check in to the fucking Hilton.

I've had an exterminator in twice in the past two weeks to spray chemicals in my house. If I am resorting to chemicals, you know this shit is serious.

And did I mention I had some sort of Indian meal moth infestation in my kitchen at the same time? That was fun, too. I haven't traced the source exactly, but they seemed to be everywhere. It probably didn't help that Booby left an open package of pancake mix in the cupboard, or that my mother gifted me with a package of cookies from a discount store (both were full of little teeny moth cocoons). Are you feeling itchy yet?

I promise I'm not actually a filthy pig. It's just that bugs are conspiring against me. Or something.

So that's why I haven't been around, or been in touch with anyone, or leaving comments on anyone's blogs. I have been so busy cleaning out my cupboards, vacuuming every day, changing my sheets umpteen times, and laundering every item in my closets in hot water that I have barely had time to think, let alone do anything more mentally strenuous than check my email.

As I told Booby, the upside here is that we were forced to clean the whole house, together, which is something we had been fighting about daily. Nothing like a new baby to corral your energy away from housekeeping. I rounded up 30 bags of stuff to give to the Salvation Army, and now all my towels fit in the closet they call home (after having been laundered in plenty of hot water, of course).

I also made up a chore chart, much to Booby's chagrin, although his chores are fairly minimal since he's the breadwinner while I'm home with the baby. I have to earn my keep! Ha ha. Actually, I thought there would be a revolt if I placed too many chores on his shoulders, so I gave him only a few hard ones. My hope is that these chores will become second nature. And then you can all ask me for my recipe in Stepford Husband-making.


At 7:34 PM, Anonymous SlowGardener said...

I sympathize with your flea infestation. I remember this happening one summer when I was about 11 and our cat never even went outside (strange but true). Of the four humans, I was the preferred host and would find them slurping away at the top of my socks. For some reason I didn't thing it was particularly gross at the time, just annoying and itchy. I remember the foggers well!

At 10:33 AM, Blogger Arabella said...

Fuck. I am so, so sorry! I know how awful fleas can be.

At 7:08 PM, Anonymous kaybeejaenq said...

Fleas and bity things don't like citronella essential oil, mix about six drops with 50ml of a carrier oil like almond oil and put that on your legs, it helps!. and if you can handle the smell either burn citronella candles or put some drops of straight oil onto your carpets. Oh and moving around the house keeps the little buggers hatching on a regular basis and being smacked down by the chemicals so when you get the place treated go back in asap and stomp around a bit even if you do it every few hours it will be more effective than leaving them to hibernate in their little eggs and wait for the chemicals to wear off.
Yes I have been dealing with bugs this year too!

At 4:12 PM, Anonymous TB said...

Oh that sucks. It makes our little ant infestation of last summer seem not so bad. And I know you had to have been desperate to have pesticides in your house. I hope all the creepy crawlies are long gone.
I am jealous of your super-clean house though.

At 12:16 PM, Blogger Franny Ward said...

I had my daughters cat at our home after she went to college. The cat went beserk and I took it to the SPCA after it took the tip of my thumb almost clean off and scratched my neighbour's daughter's eye. (He told me either get rid of the cat or i'll sue you).

Anyway, after the cat left we had a total infestation of fleas with no host other than us. I had to get an exteriminator in and fumigate our home, wash all the bedding, clothers, etc.

I also sympathize with you!

At 3:07 PM, Anonymous wordgirl said...

We have an ant problem that is about to drive me completely batshit. But fleas would make me homicidal.

At 11:45 PM, Anonymous kathy said...

Hi! I'm enjoying reading your blog. I found it somehow when I was googling to find out if there's any twp ordinances for chickens in Havertown. I have devoured your birth story and just wanted to say hi - and congratulations. If you're ever over by Merwood park in the h-town, knock on up because I have a little brood here of my own and am always up for company. Be well.

At 11:46 PM, Anonymous kathy said...

Hm. I tried to leave my email address.

kf.lopez at mac dot com.

At 2:43 AM, Blogger Mrs. G. said...

Oh I'm not even going to share what my children call the summer plague of ' might push you over the edge. Oy, I'm already itching. Fun blog. Good luck with your genocide.

At 6:01 PM, Anonymous Claudia said...

We have two cats and a dog. It would appear we too, here on the East Coast, have been plagued by f'ing fleas. Now, mind you, we too have done everything (bath, spray, dips, foggers) in order to try to get rid of 'em. No way, Jose. These suckers are Ninja fleas, trained in the art of bloodsucking and fur thinning. My poor dog has no ass fur. The vet says that fleas, like other insects, are now becoming immune to our chemicals. Go figure. Like the cockroach, the day the earth gets nuked, these suckers will be all that's left.

The God/dess has a seriously warped sense of humor.

Goo' luck and all that jazz.


At 1:04 AM, Anonymous exterminator NYC said...

It normally shouldn't take that long for an exterminator to get rid of fleas. Maybe you were just unlucky with who you chose to call.


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