Mean Girl to the Rescue!

How'm I gonna save the world when the world ain't ready?

Saturday, March 25, 2006


This morning, my husband and I found ourselves driving to my fertility dotor's office, bearing a little specimen cup containing swimmers (someone on another blog suggested carrying it between the breasteses, and damn if that wasn't a great method. I stuck the cup in between the cups of my bra, slung a sweater over top, et voila!). But more details on the why and what happened later; what I really want to convey here is our car conversation.

I had been on the phone with the lab tech earlier, and I'd asked her if it was OK that Booby come along to my appointment. She thought I meant that he wanted to fill his specimen cup right there in the office, and even when I assured her that we were going to take care of that at home, she insisted on telling me that they didn't have the proper "facilities" for this type of evacuation. I guess they don't keep a stock of nudie mags (though I often read fashion mags there that have the occasional frontal nudity, and if my memories of breaking into my brother's treehouse serve me well, National Geographic will also do in a pinch). I relayed this conversation to Booby as we drove along.

Me: "She was very insistent that you not arrive without the specimen already collected. I wanted to tell her that you weren't going to be getting your wang out right there in the office, but she wasn't hearing me!"

Him: "Honey, you must never call my ... equipment ... a wang."

Me: "I'll call it whatever I want. What, now I'm not allowed to use words like schlong or dick in reference to you?"

Him: "No. You can't."

Me: "Well, then what am I supposed to call it?"

Him: "A penis. See, you must respect the cock."

Me and Him: {hysterical laughter}

Funnily enough, we went out for breakfast afterwards, and Carman's Country Kitchen is, for some reason, festooned with penis crockery (More pictures TK!). So it was a good day to be instructed to respect the cock.


At 9:23 AM, Anonymous rhonda said...

That is HYSTERICAL! Yes, you must show respect, LOL!

At 9:33 AM, Anonymous Nixie Knox said...

That is priceless. And I love the cup!

At 7:36 PM, Blogger Tits McGee said...

I. Must. Have. That. Mug.

At 7:55 PM, Blogger Brooke said...

Holy crap...that mug. And the respect. You two are made for each other!

At 9:32 PM, Blogger wordgirl said...

No amount of cock respect from women could ever equal the love that comes from its owner. Word.

At 2:51 AM, Anonymous sweatpantsmom said...

How hysterical is it that such a, uh, well-endowed vessel would be available at a place with 'Country Kitchen' in its title?

At 10:11 AM, Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Tits, have I got a link for you!

At 11:36 AM, Blogger Tink said...

That is the greatest picture EVER. I love his expression. I'm going to be chuckling over that all day.

At 12:09 PM, Blogger Mignon said...

What, couldn't you get him to grip the handle in a manly and forthwright fashion?

(I don't want the mug, but I do want that little black hat and zipper sweatshirt combo.)

At 12:10 PM, Blogger Mignon said...

Oh, and that long-ago post about his comment about legs had to be whisked away, but this one passes?

At 12:36 PM, Anonymous booby said...

My tolerance for public ridicule is growing.

The wool cap you can order from Reload Bags. Wait another week. They might be out of season/ cheaper.

At 1:23 PM, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

That's hilarious. Men do have such an "inflated" view of their thingys. See Booby?? Did you just hear me call it a thingy? A Dillywhacker??

At 7:59 PM, Blogger Arabella said...


At 8:19 PM, Anonymous booby said...

Look folks, I am not Frank TJ. Mackey from Magnolia over here.

I am 100% aware that my unit is neither camera ready nor a hideous, tiny deformity but let me be clear: I objected to the term wang. Its just inappropriate.

At 11:02 AM, Blogger Arabella said...

Just as long as "cooter" is still acceptable, I'll be happy.

At 11:45 PM, Blogger Tits McGee said...

I love you so much.

I also love that the description of the mug includes this line:
"This interesting coffee mug is a big hit even after the party is over."

Interesting? Interesting???

At 8:42 PM, Blogger IzzyMom said...

Penis crockery, respect the cock, wang....oh man. I've got tears in my eyes. STOP!!!!


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