Mean Girl to the Rescue!

How'm I gonna save the world when the world ain't ready?

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Some random pregnancy fears

Or, Why I am not a good candidate for natural childbirth, in no particular order:

1. Hemorrhoids (this one may have materialized. Ick.)
a) Carrying an inflatable donut with me everywhere
2. Episiotomy and its attendant horrors, such as ...
a) Having to pee standing in the shower
b) Weeks of caaaaareful walking. The only thing that tempers this fear somewhat is the knowledge that the perineal/genital area heals very quickly. With piercing comes knowledge!
3. NOT having an episiotomy and tearing instead (see 2.a)
4. Copious hair loss
a) My post-partum sister-in-law just clued me into this one
5. Installing the baby's carseat
6. Cats pooping/peeing in the crib
a) Or falling into an unloved-pet depression once the nonstop love they're showered with is transferred onto a tiny, screaming human
7. Lochia, which my pregnancy freakout books describe as lasting from two to six weeks. SIX WEEKS of heavy bleeding! Mothers, please tell me this isn't as bad as it sounds. Please?
8. Stretch marks (shallow, I know)
9. C-section (why, oh why have I been watching "Babies: Special Delivery"?)
10. Cracked nips (cream recommendations welcome!)
a) Being unable to breastfeed. I don't trust what's in baby formula, because I am a paranoid freak. Luckily, organic formula does exist.


This week, Little Bun has become quite mobile, executing kicks to such an extent that now Booby can feel them if he gets his hand on my belly fast enough. Bedtime seems to be the most active time.


At 7:46 PM, Blogger Mignon said...

1- Not me, thankyouverymuch.
2 - Not that big of a deal, if it means the baby pops out any faster.
a) So NOT a horror! In fact, I was just going to blog about how I wish I could crap in the shower too...
b) The only really sore part is your butt, from a big head pushing on your butt bone.
3 - Did this too, also not that big of a deal - it's all sore down there anyway.
4 - Check.
5 - Not rocket science, although books will freak you out about it.
6 - Ew. I worried about this even though we don't have a cat.
7 - Nah. Two weeks. And it only sucks because you can't use a tampon. Two weeks that go pretty quickly, too.
8 - Sucks.
9 - Advantages and disadvantages. Whatever works.
10 - Yes, had these. Get those little gel pads you put on blisters and stay away from lanolin - it's like wax and brutal to put on bleeding nipples.
a) I hope not for your sake, but don't beat yourself up if you give it your best shot. Whatever works.

(Here are the gel pads, although you can find them in the foot care section of a pharmacy too:

At 8:15 PM, Anonymous mamatulip said...

Re: 2) I had one with both deliveries and it was not nearly as bad as I had worked it up to be in my head. Honestly.

Re: 5) Here, stores like Toys R Us and places like the Y hold carseat clinics, usually once a month or so. They have firemen (BONUS!) who will check out your carseat to ensure you've installed it correctly. Check it out...I'll bet there is something like that in your area you could do.

Re: 6) I worried about that too. There are nets that you can put over the crib to prevent cats from going in there. Might be worth checking out.

Re: 10) Purelan 100 is a MIRACLE CREAM. I highly, highly recommend it. Lansinoh is also quite good.

At 10:00 PM, Anonymous wordgirl said...

Lochia= So NOT six weeks. Cracked nips= Can't remember what I used, but it was great. Whatever Mignon and MamaT say goes. Whether you tear or they cut you, that miracle deadening spray they give you is from GOD. Buy it in bulk. I've only known one person who DID NOT know how to breastfeed and it was because she had reaaly strange nipples. Can't really avoid the stretch marks, but you can decrease the awfulness by using cream on the area RIGHT NOW. The hair loss is just from the extra hair you grew while pregnant. You grow about 10% more hair and then it falls out. Same hair. No biggie. You're going to be just fine.

At 10:01 PM, Blogger toyfoto said...

1-3 (c-section, here)
4. Copious hair loss (didn't suffer from hair loss except that it started shedding again) Solution, cut it all short, donated it to Locks of Love and let it grow again.

5. Installing the baby's carseat (husband's headache).
6. Dogs were confused, the got over it eventually.
a.(Sometime last year).
7. Lochia did last a while, but it wasn't very heavy after a week or so. It was manageable with Always thin pads.
8. If you don't have stretch marks by now you're not going to get them after the birth. ... I think it's a genetic thing.
9. C-section. Raises hand and waves. I didn't watch Special Delivery, but it didn't save me. It wasn't so bad in the end.
10. Cracked nips. I used lasinoh creme, but I didn't have a problem with cracking.
a) Being unable to breastfeed. I don't trust what's in baby formula, because I am a paranoid freak. Luckily, organic formula does exist.

I know lots of women who's kids didn't get the hindmilk and they didn't thrive right away. Their mothers told me that once they got over the feeling of failure, they actually felt relief because they knew definitively how many calories their kids were getting and that was at least ONE LESS thing to worry about.

I think you'll be fine.

At 10:04 PM, Blogger Tits McGee said...

1) Nope. Hooray!
2) Nope. C-section. Much bigger incision.
3) Nope. See above.
4) Nope. Barely any change in my hair during or after pregnancy.
5) Not so hard. Honest.
6) Only happened once, because I accidentally left the door to the kid's room open when going out one afternoon. We actually trained the cat not to go in there, but if we're not home, he can't be trusted. Try the net. We got one for when we went on vacation to a buggy cabin and it worked like a charm. While it wouldn't prevent a cat from getting into a crib, it would surely piss the cat off once s/he got in there.
7) I was so not upset by this that I can't even remember how long I bled for, but it definitely wasn't six weeks.
8) Eh. They suck, but whatever.
9) Okay, I was very bummed out to discover I would have to have the c-section (breech presentation), but then I had a healthy, beautiful kid and I stopped caring. I was able to have both Hubby and my mom in the room with me, I got to choose the music that was playing when my daughter was born, and I got to nurse her within an hour of her birth. The recovery wasn't fun, but I got up and walked around a bit the day of the surgery and just kept walking as much as I could stand to in the days following, and I think that helped a lot.
10) Lansinoh, liberally.
a) Find a good lactation specialist if you have trouble, and just do your best.

At 10:11 PM, Blogger Blondie said...

If it makes you feel any better, all of my mommy friends tell me they are so happy with the little tot that they don't notice they are still bleeding. They do notice their cracked nipples though, so I'm glad these ladies gave you some good advice.

I am currently typing while supporting a large fat cat who has fallen asleep on my arm in the "breastfeeding" type position, so I kinda am with you. :)

At 8:46 AM, Anonymous Stacey said...

3. I had two tears, one vaginal and one perineal. I didn't have to pee standing in the shower, actually, though I sort of dreaded peeing at all for the first 72 hours. The pain has started subsiding now (6 weeks after birth), but I would advise you to invest in an industrial-sized bottle of Motrin and follow everyone's advice to stay off your feet as much as possible -- the swelling and pain were worse when I walked a lot or got tired from running around. Still ... not that big of a deal.

5. Find out if the PA Highway Patrol will do an inspection for you (sometimes fire departments do it too). In California, the CHP provides a free inspection and helps you get the seat installed correctly if it isn't already. It was a huge relief.

6a. I can't speak for cats, but watching Bentley the dog go through a couple of weeks of baby blues was tough. No matter how much I promised myself that I would not neglect him after the baby came, there simply isn't enough time or energy in the day at first to give everyone equal attention. Now, however, he loves the baby and is fiercely protective. If I let the baby cry for too long, he looks at me judgmentally. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it ...

7. The heavy bleeding didn't last 6 weeks for me. The first three weeks are the worst (a few pads a day), and then it tapers off. It will really be a secondary concern ... you probably won't end up thinking much about it.

10. Any kind of pure lanolin cream (I used Lanisoh, but anything will do) is the best bet. At first I was frustrated because it isn't medicated, and therefore doesn't really provide any pain relief, but over time it does the trick for keeping everything moist, which is the best thing you can do. I also bought Soothies, which are gel pads that stick on and provide a little relief if you're sore. They're kind of expensive, and you have to wipe the stuff off every time you feed, which is a pain in the ass (and easy to forget in the middle of the night). Trust me when I tell you that if you work on your latch, the soreness WILL go away in a few weeks, even if it doens't feel like it ever will.

10a. You'll be fine. Get the number of a lactation consultant or info about support groups in your area -- getting as much help as you can will be a lifesaver.

At 9:13 AM, Blogger Arabella said...

You must immediately stop watching "Special Delivery." So, so hard, I know, but at least you can switch to "Birth Day," which is almost universally positive and upbeat.

Your list pretty well covers it, but I'll add the following: loose skin, something going wrong with the anesthesia, never sleeping again, and baby taking a dump prior to birth. Ugh.

What was wrong with a puppy, anyway?

At 2:18 PM, Blogger The Big Pugawug said...

1. Nope. But having a butt pillow or bouncy ball still helps if you have tailbone trouble. My ass hurt all 9 months, and then some, even with yoga.
2. Nope.
3. Yep. It hurts, but if #3 (or #2) happens ask your nurse for some Cushing's ointment. Creme de cocaine (or some other crazy analgesic) that makes the pain down there vanish. They don't let you take it home from the hospital, though.
4. Not so bad.
5. Again, not so bad. LATCH clips make it easy (and if your car doesn't have them already, they can be retrofitted in some models). Make sure the seat is secure side-to-side and front-to-back.
6. Crib tents! I'll ask my friend Heather where she got hers.
7. Icky. Call it 2 weeks of heavy bleeding and another couple weeks of ooze (pink to yellow to clear). Wear mattress-maxis the first couple days, then skinny pads are fine.
8. Nope. Don't hate me, it's just my DNA.
9.Nope. But whatever works to have a healthy babe!
10. Lansinoh is awesome. Purelan100 is also great, but soften it between your fingers or it doesn't spread. The stuff makes great lip gloss, too.

Kicks are cool, but just wait until you see the outline of a foot emerging from your taut belly!

At 11:28 AM, Anonymous TB said...

I'm worried about not being able to breastfeed too. The LLL and Dr. Sears books make it sound so hard and complicated. Of course they are also very militant about everything to the point that they make you feel bad if the baby isn't attatched to your breast 24/7.

At 12:36 AM, Anonymous cybil said...

funny post. it's not as bad as all the horror stories. if you are in descent shape, recovery will happen fast. breastfeeding is nerve racking, worrisome and yes, a little painful at first. my milk didn't come in for a week, but when it did, everything started rolling. the cracked nipples heal with a little lanolin and air-time. if it get really bad try nipple shields. my husband never thought he would have said it, but he saw enough of my teets to last him for while. (at that point they were teets) BTW the UPS man got a good look at them while they were airing out too. soak you nether region in a nice hot bath and that'll help speed the healing too. good luck, don't fret. all the umpleasantries and well worth it. i'm due with #2 in april, so it can't be that bad if woman go back for more.

At 11:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cara Mengobati Benjolan Ambeien Secara Alami yang bisa Anda coba untuk mengempeskan benjolan, tonjolan atau pembengkakan pada anus akibat penyakit ambeien.

At 3:51 AM, Anonymous Pengobatan Preeklamsia said...

erg leuk kunt u de website, veel kennis in een blikje


Post a Comment

<< Home