Mean Girl to the Rescue!

How'm I gonna save the world when the world ain't ready?

Thursday, April 20, 2006


So, yesterday Booby and I went to New York to see a taping of The Colbert Report. I know a few of you out there are fans, so I thought I'd recap the glorious event. In the grand TV Guide tradition, I thought it might best be summed up by "Cheers" and "Jeers."

CHEERS to Arabella and her husband, who cheerfully agreed to accompany us to the show after Booby's friend had to bag out last-minute.

JEERS to the asinine P.A. who refused to let Arabella join her husband, Booby, and myself in line at two minutes after six (the line closed at six; her train sat at a platform for several minutes, rendering her a little late). Way to be drunk with power and fuck up my outing with my friends, sister. Our friends had to miss the show and go home and hang a lamp instead of hanging out with us.

CHEERS to getting a seat in the second row, right alongside the little hallway from whence Mr. Colbert emerges. He's not as boyish as he looks on TV, ladies. But he did wear a nice suit.

JEERS to the five frat boys who repeatedly shouted WOOOOOOO!!!, YEAH!!!, DUDE!!! and WE LOVE YOU STEPHEN, at the very top of their beer 'n' whiskey soaked lungs. Seriously, do you need to bring a fifth of rotgut into the taping of a TV show?

CHEERS to the coffee place two blocks away whose delicious vanilla latte provided the caffeine necessary to free me from the bondage of my aching head after three acetaminophen and two advils failed as I stood in line.

JEERS to being made to wait in an anteroom of the studio for half an hour, where we all had to stand, and the only entertainment was Jeopardy! with the sound turned off and scathing people-watching/commentary (if you're me).

JEERS to the strangely surrendered Caitlin Flanagan, Stephen's guest last night. I haven't read Ms. Flanagan's book or her articles. In fact, bad feminist that I am, I hadn't even heard of her until yesterday. After seeing her odd performance on The Colbert Report, though, I am a little curious about her. Stephen tried to play off like she was kidding along with him when he addressed the crowd after the show, but I have to say, she seemed rather fervently serious while he was being sarcastic and playful. Maybe I'm suddenly a poor judge of sarcastic tone. And don't get me started about a writer who claims to be a stay-at-home mom (because she only writes while the kids are at school). I'd love to hear what everyone else thinks about this woman.

Fun Fact 1: "Bobby the Cameraman" isn't really a cameraman. He's Eric Drysdale, one of the show's writers. Ahh, all my illusions have been shattered.

Fun Fact 2: The crowd was warmed up by comedian Drew Fraser for half an hour before the show began. He was OK, and even rather funny at times. He also complimented my engagement ring, oddly enough, as he stood next to my seat when taping began.

Stephen Colbert to audience member who admitted, during the Q&A session prior to the show's beginning, to missing some of the shows: "There's the door, motherfucker."

P.A. to audience before she let us into the studio: "We really, really want you to clap and scream and yell while you're in there, OK, you guys? Stephen really feeds off your energy." That made me feel like he was going to suck out my life force and leave my corporeal body a dry, dead husk, but whatever.

**Update** Here's a link to a great story about Caitlin Flanagan in Elle magazine (Elle? Who knew?). After reading it, I'm pretty sure Ms. Flanagan is a hypocrite.


At 3:47 PM, Blogger Arabella said...

Thanks, Mrs. H. You are very kind. :) And I'm still sorry.

Do you think Tom "feeds" off Katie's energy, too?

At 4:09 PM, Anonymous TB said...

Mrs. H. - Thank you for that. I felt like I was there. We saw Jon Stewart perform last year and he was freaking hilarious. I'd love to live close enough to NY to pop over for a live taping sometime.

And Arabella, I think Tom is feeding off of the placenta, which they are keeping in a reach in freezer and eating tiny bits of each day mixed into a protein smoothie while they wait for the comet to come and take them back to their home planet.

At 5:38 PM, Blogger Ran said...

Wow! You are so awesome! I wish I was there to see the show. How were you so lucky to get the tickets? Do you know when the show will be aired? Sorry for asking so many questions.

At 6:10 PM, Blogger Elizabeth said...

I can't believe they did that to Arabella. Booooooo.

You should have yelled something so we could listen for it. That would have been cool. Boooo drunken frat boys. Do they even "get" Colbert's humor?

At 9:35 PM, Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Arabella, there are no words for what I feel about TomKat. {shudder!}

Teebs, I worry that if I saw Jon Stewart, the psell would be broken, and I'm not willing to give up my JS crush yet.

Ran, the show was on last night at 11:30, but it repeats like, a million times this week, I'm sure. You can get tickets by emailing for them (I think they show the email address to write at the end of the show, and I believe it's also on the web site). My husband emailed in December! But it was totally worth it.

Elizabeth, I doubt I could have made myself heard over the frat boys! And I tend to become recalcitrant when participation is demanded of me - being forced to clap is a big drag. I clap if I feel like it, man. ;)

At 12:30 AM, Blogger wordgirl said...

Caitlin Flannigan: I've read her articles in the Atlantic Monthly , but I still can't tell whose side she's on. Ours or "theirs"?

At 8:43 AM, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

What a neat experience though! Boo to the frat guys for being asses.

So, Arabella didn't get to go after all?? What a bummer!

At 10:24 AM, Blogger Tits McGee said...

SO. Jealous.

Thank you for the detailed rundown. I watched the show, natch, and have this to say about Caitlin Flanagan:


She is loathsome, and I agree that she came across as serious in the Colbert Report interview, which is deeply disturbing. Thanks for the link to the Ms. article, too.

Also, from now on, I will be using the phrase "That's the door, motherfucker" liberally.

At 10:44 AM, Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

Those guys who wouldn't let Arabella in should be forced to watch Tom's Letterman appearance over and over and over and over...Fitting punishment, don't you think?

At 2:36 PM, Blogger Tink said...

Stephen Colbert can feed off of me anytime. LOL. That sounded SO sick!

At 2:45 PM, Blogger KTP said...

Thanks for the link to the Elle article. I read about CF in the L.A. Times a few weeks ago, and wondered what the fuss was about. Noooow I get it.

At 9:18 PM, Blogger Katherine said...

Somehow I doubt you've lost your ability to judge sarcasm :) Love the Colber Repor! Very cool that you were THERE.

At 5:20 PM, Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

I like Stephen's show, it was pretty funny. Thanks for the update...

Boo to the jerk that would not let Arabella in line...


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