The galloping of a hundred tiny horses
I haven't written all that much about my long-awaited pregnancy, partly out of a concern that this will become a pregnancy blog (and if I do that, will someone tell me, so I can put all that stuff in a different, preggo-only space?), and partly out of a concern that I would miscarry at any given second. See, I told you I'm a pessimist.
Last night, we had our second visit to the OB. It was relatively brief: get weighed, pee in a cup, etc. The highlight was finally hearing our baby's heartbeat. 164 bpm, which I am hoping means a girl (modern folk wisdom says that 140 bpm or above indicates a female, but I'll settle for ten fingers, ten toes, and full mental capacity. Oh, and not ugly, God willing).
According to the 20 books I have on the subject of pregnancy, hearing the heartbeat pretty much cements things. It's unusual to miscarry after that (or after 12-13 weeks along), although, of course, not unheard of. But that 10% or so statistic which gets tossed around lowers considerably after that point.
My next set of worries will be going in for genetic counseling and hearing about the odds of having a baby with birth defects, which will be especially fun since mine is technically a high risk pregnancy due to my "advanced maternal age" of 35.
Booby had the sudden realization last night as we drove home that these worries are just the beginning. "After the birth, I'll be worrying about crib death," he mused.
"Yeah, and just wait till the kid gets to venture out in the real world, where there are so many factors beyond our control."
Parents tell you that everything changes after you have a child, and I have an intellectual sense of what that will be like. But, doubtless, there's no way to fully understand the actual feeling until you're really, truly a mother or father.
posted by Mrs. Harridan @ Thursday, September 28, 2006
10 Comments:
Yay! Congrats on the heartbeat!
I hear you about the never-ending worries. I can't speak to amnio, but I thought the nuchal translucency test was a breeze.
I'm becoming a pregnancy blogger, aren't I? Oy. Maybe I'll have more to talk about now that I'm no longer throwing up every five minutes and can actually leave my apartment. Please let me know if I don't improve, and I'll let you know if you get too pregnancy-blog, m'kay?
Yay! Reading this post made my day.
The genetic counseling and so forth is no biggie ... just wait until they make you do the glucose tolerance test, yuck. Legend has it some OBs have you eat glucose jelly beans rather than the nasty syrupy soda, so start calling around now.
And SIDS and so forth, yeah, I was obsessed until Pugawug first rolled over around 4 months. Babies breathe in a disconcerting, stop-and-go way when they're small. We found that having her in bed with us (in a Snuggle Nest) made it easier for us to relax at night.
That is awesome. I'm so happy for you. We have our "heartbeat" ultrasound tomorrow and I'm hoping it will make this whole thing seem less abstract. I mean, I know I'm pregnant, but it just doesn't feel real yet.
As for the rest of your post. I hear ya sister. I think it's natural as a mother in general and especially for someone who has spent so much time and effort trying to get and stay pregnant.
And finally, if you can't write about your pregnancy on your blog once in while, what's the point? It's a big part of your life.
Glad to hear everything is going well!
The worries, they never cease. Never. You exchange one set for another. Over and over. Kids get older, worries change but persist. A brief pause here and there while you suffer from a false sense of security wherein everything seems great. Then it's back to more worrying.
And then you die. The end.
Wordgirl got it about right. So, enjoy being pregnant. Babies are a lot less trouble on the inside than they will be on the outside.
There's no preparing for any of it. You get pregnant and everything's different. You have the baby and everything's different. Your baby becomes a toddler and everything's different.
You'll do just fine. I couldn't be happier for you.
Oh, the first time you hear that heartbeat, it's really something.And I was an "older Mom" when I had Kaitlyn at 38.
The worrying, well, that is forever, like wordgirl said. But so is a love like no other.
Dammit but I've been a worried mom for over twelve years and I want so much to say it gets better...but, it doesn't. You WILL worry about something else.
I say worrying makes me mindful. Many mistakes happen from lax attention.For a kid that can be disatrous. So- I'll take my obsessing. I'm sure my kids would prefer less though...
Congrats!
And speaking of oatmeal- I dont want to be a recipe blogger, but I have been looking for the proper oatmeal cookie recipe my whole life. (I've become attached to that as a problem since its so benign)
Oh...the heartbeat is amazing, isn't it?
And, like the many other moms have said already...you never stop worrying.
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