Mean Girl to the Rescue!

How'm I gonna save the world when the world ain't ready?

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Celebrity Face-Death Match

Some celebrities I have been told I look like:

Lara Flynn Boyle (especially when I was all goth and depressed and dyed my hair dark brown, but it came out sooty black and eventually warranted a trip to East End Salon to get back to a normal color.)
  • Jamie Lee Curtis (thanks, but my doctor can confirm that I do have ovaries. Still, she's spunky, and has a great rack, I guess.)

Annette O'Toole (used as a pickup line by a street sweeper who apparently wanted into my pants. Dude, no one even knows who Annette O'Toole is.)

Maggie Rizer, a semi-famous model who disappeared after making a big splash. I think she was on America's Next Top Model once. She and I do look uncannily alike, except she's young and fresh and dewy, while I am old and a withered-up old husk. My pal Mr. Baggins made me a mix tape once decorated with photos of her and entitled it: My Face Does Not Belong to Me. Pictured on the top left.

Nicole Kidman, when I had curlier hair and before she became a Botoxed living corpse.

Melanie Mayron (from Thirtysomething, when she was 35 and I was perhaps 18. Thank you, insipid female coworker). Pictured on the top right.

Tabitha Soren, of MTV fame. Everyone has told me this repeatedly. Frau Doktor saw her speak at her college campus and said even her mannerisms were like mine. Too bad she's not a real journalist.

Cate Blanchett (thank you, Mignon; best celebrity compliment EVAH.)

Celebrities that My Heritage claims I look like, evidently based on my wide smile in the photo I uploaded:

  • Annette Bening (whuh? Maybe they meant Annette O'Toole)
  • Hilary Swank (ouch. Kill me now)
  • Catherine Deneuve (flattering, but patently untrue)
  • Leonard Nimoy (I swear, I did specify I am female. And it's not even Nimoy as Spock - it's Real Life Nimoy)
  • Faye Dunaway (saw her on CSI recently, and girlfriend has had A LOT of work. None of it good. She could barely talk over her veneers)
  • Tom Cruise (with a beard, no less)
  • Eric Idle ( That would be bad even if I were a man)
  • Nicole Kidman (pre-Botox)
  • Liv Tyler (no.)
  • Cate Blanchett (yay!)

What celebrities do people tell you that you look like?


At 12:40 PM, Blogger Arabella said...

I DEFINITELY think you resemble Cate Blanchett, with maybe a little trace of Alexandra Wentworth thrown in, but prettier.

People have told me I resemble the following celebrities:

Andie MacDowell
Bebe Neuwirth
Jennifer Connelly (but for the breasts(!))
Laura Branigan
Natalie Portman
Sabrina LeBoeuf (oldest Cosby daughter)

At 1:04 PM, Blogger MisterBaggins said...

I've been told John Lennon many, many times. I guess it's the sad eyes, long nose and (formally) the glasses. Once I got Nick Cage which was stupid.

At 2:59 PM, Blogger MisterBaggins said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 3:25 PM, Anonymous TB said...

I got Madonna a couple of times in the mid-80's.
Also Sarah Gilbert and Tori Amos a lot when my hair was long.
I don't think I look like any celebrities now though.
Oh to be compared to Cate Blanchett or Sade!

At 4:05 PM, Blogger mama_tulip said...

In college, when I had a pair of black glasses, people likened me to Lisa Loeb. Which was fine with me, because I think she's hot.

At 4:29 PM, Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Mama_Tulip, did you see Lisa has a new dating show called #1 Single?

My husband saw her in NY once and said she is TINY. She is very cute.

At 4:35 PM, Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Arabella, I can see the Bebe Neuwirth, with perhaps a soupcon of Sara Gilbert. Like if they had a very pretty love child.

You lack the extremely toothy grin of Natalie Portman (and that's for the best, believe me).


Teebs, I can see Tori Amos for the hair and Sara Gilbert not at all. Melissa Gilbert, maybe? I won't know until I meet you in person. :)

At 4:38 PM, Blogger Arabella said...

Yeah, people have told me Sara Gilbert, too. I was told Sade by a random dude in a music store who was clearly looking to pick up chicks.

At 4:59 PM, Anonymous Jess said...

When I lived in LA I got Chloe Sevigny. A lot. She's an indie type actress who is regularly featured on I don't hear that so much here, maybe because she's not a huge star and us east coasters are less likely to be all up in the hollywood biz. I did the My Heritage thing, and there's no way I'm telling the Internet what the results were. Let's just say that they were bad. Really, horribly bad. Like, wrong gender bad. I cry a little just thinking about it.

At 6:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

People used to say I looked like Sandra Bullock (i.e. brown-eyed girl next door, I suppose). Also, a few years ago several people told me I reminded them of Julia Roberts, including the pastor at our church...

At 6:31 PM, Blogger mama_tulip said...

Oooh, cool, I'll check that out.

She sings kid's songs and plays her guitar on Noggin and I think I ogle her more than Julia does. ;)

At 7:47 PM, Blogger Mignon said...

I've heard I resemble a little girl that was on a show where Robin Williams died (I think?) and he had a little boy and a little girl. That girl. I've never seen the movie or know who this girl is, but I've been told this on three separate occasions.

At 10:36 AM, Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Oh, man - that Robin Willaims thing is gonna bug me. When was the show on, pre-Mork and Mindy?

At 11:08 AM, Blogger wordgirl said...

I've had several people say I look like Darryl Hannah. I'm only 5'8"...not 5'11".
I have small eyes and I'm blonde, but I don't really think I look like her. Now that she's not allowed herself to age gracefully (she had great looks) and succumbed to plastic surgery, evey Darryl doesn't look like Darryl anymore. Nevertheless it's what people say. It could be worse.

At 2:55 PM, Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

When I was little I looked like Melissa Gilbert, but that was because I tried to (braids and prarie dresses). Now I don't look like any celebrities.

Mignon-Robin Williams was in a movie, What Dreams May Come where he had a girl and boy and he died (they all did, actually-the movie's about Heaven). Maybe that's what people are talking about? I can't remember what the girl looked like though.

At 5:01 PM, Blogger Dan said...

I was told all through gammar school thati looked like Dicky Smothers from the Smothers Brothers.


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