Mean Girl to the Rescue!

How'm I gonna save the world when the world ain't ready?


Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Green apples, eh?

I just have to share the spam I just got on my work account with you guys. Mostly I get boring spam, but this one is almost poetic.

I gotta tell you something. Some years ago I used to watch porno often. I always admired those guys cumming. They splashed out so much sperm on their girls, it looked so cool, so manlike.

Now I have a girlfriend.. but quantity of my sperm was so scanty, that I felt ill at ease.
I was advised to eat green apples but even this didn't help.


A month ago I was hanging around at the bar with my best friend. And he said that I should try MAX LOADS. Well, - I thought, - sounds interesting.

Next day I came to know that it was really a highly effective all-natural dietary supplement,
which not only increases the sperm volume but also improves the sperm quality and the mobility of spermatozoa.
Having ordered and tried I was shocked how cool it was.
I'd even say, it changed my life. I'm happy. I even became a better lover, knowing how it all would end.


God only knows what's going to show up on my referring stats after this one. That'll be another blog post.

16 Comments:

At 12:43 PM, Blogger Tink said...

LMFAO. Noooo. Omg that's so funny.

Poor poor misguided souls.

 
At 12:59 PM, Blogger mama_tulip said...

LOL. There is a poetic ring to it, isn't there?

 
At 2:31 PM, Blogger Tits McGee said...

Now I have a girlfriend.. but quantity of my sperm was so scanty, that I felt ill at ease

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 
At 2:31 PM, Blogger Fraulein N said...

I like that it has a happy ending. It's like he expects you to clap and go, "yaaaay!"

 
At 2:36 PM, Blogger Arabella said...

Best. Spam. Ever.

I can totally picture two guys at a bar, drinks in hand. One of them says to the other, "You know, Bud, the quantity of my sperm is so scanty that I feel ill at ease with my girlfriend."

To which he replies, "Dude, all you need to do is try MAX LOADS. It increases the sperm volume, but also improves the sperm quality and the mobility of spermatozoa."

Better than those commercials for local dentists.

 
At 2:52 PM, Blogger ceece said...

eech. What I want to know is where is the girlfriends side to all this?

You know dude #2 girlfriend is sending out emails to this effect:
"My guys load is just out of control! I think he's some kind of freak of nature! He always wants me to get a measuring cup, I am starting to feel ill at ease.

So I was talking with my friend at the hoochie bar the other night, and she said all she had to do was take this pill called NastY Snatch!"

He hasn't touched me in days!

 
At 5:08 PM, Blogger newscoma said...

You get all the good spam. Dammit.

 
At 7:05 PM, Blogger Mignon said...

I must say I've wondered at the ginormous loads of porn stars. And I'm curious about the apple thing. Thought provoking spam...

 
At 7:19 PM, Blogger MrsFortune said...

Wow, this company ships fast. His friend told him about it and he saw how great it worked the next day? Suh-weet.

 
At 8:49 AM, Blogger Arabella said...

Mignon, I once read somewhere that the semen they use on porn sets is often fake, that they'll mix up a gel using various household ingredients. With some shots, though, it's clearly, um, of natural origins, so I always wondered about that one.

 
At 10:27 AM, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

That is so disgusting! Has a guy ever asked a woman if she likes a guy to cum tons and tons??? Why do men have such a skewed take on sex?

 
At 9:49 PM, Blogger FRITZ said...

Because, you know, we should all compare ourselves to pornos. Really.

I mean, I personally think it is really elevating and enlightening to have some man mark me like a tree.

And I'm sorry, but doesn't MAX LOADS sound like some kind of enema, anyway?

Mrs. Harridan, I think I love you.

 
At 1:00 AM, Blogger Brooke said...

Ewwwwww. And ick. And I gotta agree with the MAX LOADS sounding like something to do with poo.

 
At 1:17 PM, Blogger TB said...

Actually, maybe he's onto something. I remember a rumor I heard in college that if you wanted your boyfriend's semen to taste better for the purposes of giving blow jobs, you should feed him applesauce... coincidence? Maybe not.

 
At 4:00 PM, Blogger Jess Riley said...

This was the part that got me:

"I'd even say, it changed my life. I'm happy. I even became a better lover, knowing how it all would end."

Not in a rain of fire or a plague of locusts, but ... MAX LOADS.

Dear lord. LOL!!!!

 
At 9:25 PM, Blogger Katherine said...

Oh god, that was hysterical!! Who knew they had professional writers writing this crap? Classic.

 

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