Mean Girl to the Rescue!

How'm I gonna save the world when the world ain't ready?

Monday, December 11, 2006

Friends in need

Tammie beat me to the punch and nominated our good friend Arabella for the Support a Mom contest at The Mom Trap.

If you are so inclined, hop on over and cast your vote for Arabella. She's pregnant with twin boys after a long bout with infertility that included surgery, and went through four months of severe morning sickness. Even now, she has to take daily injections in her belly to keep the pregnancy healthy. She deserves a break!

All you have to do is leave your comment to say who you're voting for. What could be simpler?

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Holiday fun with pets, 2006 Edition

It's time, once again, for torturing animals by dressing them up as reindeer.

Oh, how they hate it.

One of our three cats actually doesn't mind being dressed up. She was our Christmas card star player last year, as the only one who would wear a Santa hat without looking like she would rather take a trip to an abbatoir. But, really, where's the fun in dressing up a compliant cat?

Round 2 was taking photos of the cat with the bum leg (see far left).

Because around here, we think it's amusing to make fun of cripples.*

Booby really wanted to use one of these "foot" photos as a card this year, but I worried that people who don't know about HIM the cat's missing foot would think we were sickos. Like, that we had chopped off a misbehaving cat's foot ourselves and then showed everyone via our holiday cards. Or something.

Round 3 was "Frolicking with Frosty and Santa," but Blogger won't let me upload any for photos. Fuckers. If anyone wants to see those, I'll post them in the next couple of days.

*Not really. Also, no cats were harmed in this photo extravaganza: HIM had that foot problem when we got him from the pound, and the vet thinks he was born with it. He uses it as an "asset" with the ladies (and men, and anyone else who gets near enough to molest).

Feelin' froggy

The Bun has been doing karate from within lately (though it doesn't hurt yet), and I try to get Booby to catch some of it. Lately, I can even see little bumps on my belly as s/he lands and especially high kick.

Yesterday, the kicking started as we were sitting on the couch, resting in between household chores. "Hey, take a look," I said, pulling up my shirt so he could see. Nothing happened. The kicking stopped as quickly as it had begun. Booby placed his hand on my belly, but all was quiet.

He looked at me for a second, and then grinned.

"You have the WB Frog in your uterus, honey!"

Monday, December 04, 2006

Unburn my heart, say tomatoes love me again

This past week marked the beginning of my trials with heartburn. This is an ailment I've had only a few times before, for short periods of time, so having it all day, every day was a nasty wake-up call for me to change my eating habits.

Sadly, it appears that most everything I like to eat causes heartburn. EVEN THE FRUITS AND VEGETABLES:

Food Group Foods To Avoid
Fruit• Orange juice
• Lemon
• Lemonade
• Grapefruit juice
• Cranberry juice
• Tomato
Vegetables • Mashed potatoes
• French fries
• Onion, raw
Meat • Ground beef, chuck
• Marbled sirloin
• Chicken nuggets
• Buffalo wings
Dairy • Sour cream
• Milk shake
• Ice cream
• Cottage cheese, regular
Grains • Macaroni and cheese
• Spaghetti with sauce
Beverages • Liquor
• Wine
• Coffee, decaffeinated or regular
• Tea, decaffeinated or regular
Fats / Oils • Salad dressing, creamy
• Salad dressing, oil & vinegar
Sweets / Desserts • Butter cookie, high-fat
• Brownie
• Chocolate
• Doughnut
• Corn chips
• Potato chips, regular

Now, we've already ascertained that I am not following the What to Expect diet of tears and suffering (I met with a doula this weekend who told me to throw that book away, and I felt vindicated). But I am trying to stick to a basic regimen of a certain number of daily servings of calcium-rich food, fruits/veggies, whole grains, etc.

I ask you, how am I supposed to enjoy a salad without dressing?
And if I choose lowfat dressing, then how am I going to get some good fats into my system from the olive or canola oil?
And how am I going to break my dependence on tomatoes in their many forms?
I honestly don't know. All I know is, TUMS don't work, which must be why they're the recommended antacid for pregnant women. The other "remedy" is to sleep with a wedge under one's head (or under the bed itself) to keep stomach acid from bubbling up past the esophagus too easily. Unfortunately, this latter remedy also creates a situation in which I find it impossible to sleep alongside my husband.

Annoyingly, the list of foods that have little potential to cause heartburn includes goat or feta cheese, which pregnant women are not supposed to have due to the risk of listeria. Hot dogs may be consumed "with discretion," but they're a bad idea because of the nitrates they contain (as are sausages and bacon, which I can't seem to wean myself off of).

With that, I'm off to enjoy a slice of dry whole wheat toast with a scrambled egg white and a side of mineral water while sitting propped up by a study pillow. Please, try not to be too jealous.